That Darned "R" word!!

This past weekend I had an opportunity to attend a workshop with a small group of people.  It was kind of like a spiritual retreat.  I really looked forward to having an opportunity to just clear my mind and escape from reality for just a little while.

At the workshop, the participants were having lots and lots of discussion and presenting lots and lots of questions to our group’s facilitator.

Suddenly, one of my co-participants made a comment that brought me right back to reality!  I was crushed.  I was sad.  I was angry.  My “spiritual escape” was interrupted when this classmate made a remark that I wasn’t prepared for.  Well, my blogging buddies, she said the “R” word.  *sigh*   And, yes, she used it in the one way that just makes me want to either “fight or flight”.  She described a group of people with the word – used as an insult to this group of people.

My brain went in a million directions.  I believe I made a gasping sound, because the facilitator looked right at me, and seemed to sense that I was reacting to the “WORD”.

And then, I raised my hand and I said:  “I have got to say something here.  I have a gorgeous, humorous, intelligent, and wonderful son, who happens to have Down syndrome.  I need to share with you that using the “r” word, exactly the way it was just used is very offensive to me.  In my eyes, it is no different than making a racial slur.  I don’t want to pull a Dennis Miller and go on a rant here, but I do have to bring this to your attention.  If I do not take this opportunity to teach a lesson in respect, I will have let my son down.”  And then I smiled at the group, and at the woman who had made the comment.

During the break that followed, the woman came up to me and apologized.  I asked her if she thought she would use the term again as an insult, and she said she was quite sure it would never happen again.  I said:  “Apology accepted”, and we chatted for a few minutes until the class started up again.

It breaks my heart every time I hear the “r” word used in this manner.  I am hopeful though, that just maybe, I have helped one person understand the harm in using the word to insult anyone.

We can change the world…one person at a time.